Yet Here I Am..

I realise.. Eventhough I say that I'm back to blogging once again.. I wasn't.. Things are rather easy said than done isn't it.. There was something holding me down.. So.. I just want to apologize for it..

Anyway.. Last year, a lot of unpredictable things has come through me.. I wasn't prepared for the consequences that was about to happen to me.. Yet, I guess I was just too late for it.. Whaever it is.. It had passed.. Now all I have to do is.. Just carry on with this life of mine..
Well.. I managed to just write a poem.. I hope some people would drop by and dive into the experience of mine.. Haha..

When I close my eyes,

All that I could see is the darkness that surrounds me,

I can't find my way, it's so hard just to tell,

Looking back and forth for someone to help me,

Then I realise, I'm all by my own,

Even when I am awake all along..

If only eyes could see, neither do ears could hear,

What was hidden deep within this heart right here,

I wouldn't have went to the darkness I am now,

Half my heart just fell apart,

Crushed by the will of my own self,

Who take the path that lead me into this sorrowness..

Expression doesn't tell it all,

People could just pretend when they actually hate,

And at which moment we could just believe,

At every single words that comes out from other people's mouth ?

When and how we could just believe,

When we already fall, crashed down bleeding...?

They say one love is all we need,

Yet it's the same thing that brought us there,

But I know it's true, just to hard to tell,

And I know it's near just to far away,

Faith is the strength that lifts the spirit,

Hope is that dream to hold on in the hands,

God is the One that looks over the lives..

"In anyways, life have to go on you know... It's a long Journey To The Heavens Above... Now all you can have is What's Left Of Me..."

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Like the dust I was blown.. Far away where the place is unknown.. Hiding beneath something so close to the eyes.. But.. Now its time to rise from my death.. Reincranated for my new life.. And come back.. To end the complicated miserable life of mine..

Back..

To blogging once more..
Hahaha.. Stoopppidd me.. I know.. I know.. I owe you lots and lots of apologizes from the readers of my blurgg out there.. [Got that from Ms.Lovely Katy Perry "P.S- I LOVE YOU- "].. Owh.. I forget those flying kisses of her.. XP Bweek.. Haha..

Wondering where I was all along? Hmm.. Lets just assume that I was lost in the complexity of my lovely life that happen to be really,really suckingly sucks back then to find my way back to who I really am right now and here I am baby.. Signed, Sealed, Delivered.. Im yours.. Lolz.. XD
(I cant be too romantic and serious most of the time rytee..??)

Who cares..? Too nice is wrong yet too bad is wrong as well.. So what..? Anybody thinks that I wanted all to be this way.. ? Maybe my friends was right bout me being fed too much sweet stuffs when I was young.. If you dont like me like this.. So be it.. Im staying put the way I am..

Ring.. Ring.. "Hello Ed. Do you wanna hang out with us this Saturday? We can watch movies and this and that and bla,bla,bla..". Hello..? The person that u dial is currently having lots and lots of assignment to get over with.. To help, please press 1.. To chat,please press 2.. To urge or insist me to go out, please HANG UP...!! [Please understand that an architect is in the making..]

"You didn't see me coming.. Coz im came slow, silent and steady.. Yet here I am now..."

Thanks For The Memories...

Sounds quite depressing..? Find out for yourself buddies... Last 27 hours, I tripped and fell to the very end.. Barely breathing... Can't believe in what was happening at that very moment... Couldnt understand... Why..?? How easy it is just to say things out.. What do you think I feel right then...?

Just about when I was about to kick off in a futsal game with my mates, I got this bad,bad,bad,bad,bad,bad news.... What else could have happen...? I exploded.. Threw my HTC Touch Dual inside my car and GAME ON... !!! Played futsal with darkness covering my inner self made me the best player on pitch.. I whacked the ball with all the anger within me and scared everyone.. Including my mates.. Why?? They have never seen me played like that before... But we won.. Thats good.. And I scored plenty...

Hahaha.. It's funny you knw.. At first, I felt that I was backstabbed by my friend.. When I think again... Its just me, myself and I with my own problems... Silly me... No one seems to care that's why... Shutting up is the best way to hide everything... Coz' no one knows... No one... But.. That night.. I prayed to God.. He told me everything.. Why this is happening.. The reason.. Everything that doens't seem right.. He made it clear.. Opened my eyes and ask for forgiveness.. For my sins towards my friends.. Who I loved so much more than my own self.. ( Yes.. It's you... ) I know I might not be into the mood sometimes.. Treating you all bad... As if as I don't care.. But.. Whatever it is.. Everytime you read this blog of mine.. Let me tell you that I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong towards you all..

Gosh.. I'm even crying typing this feeling of mine that i hardly expressed... Hahaha.. Don't be worry bout' me my friends.. I might fall, but I will stand up, spread my wings and fly away...

Drop In, Drop Out

Just about things were supporsed to be as it was, everything started to fall into pieces.. The end where I was supporse to begin with.. Really seems like the real end for my road.. I just.. Dying to find out.. Why..? I just.. Dying to understand.. Why..? Maybe.. Its just my fate to be like this..

I haven't been here for quite a while.. Don't ask why.. I've been unwell all this while.. I've been.. Lost in my own way.. In finding the way where am I supporse to go.. And I feel that.. Sometimes.. It is best to hide what's deep inside.. Letting it to be unheard and unspoken..

Its all or nothing.. That's the best I can do.. As it is said.. This is the bottom of it..

Start A Change From Yourself

Psalm 1:1
We a born to this world with a great purpose. Everybody wants hapiness. Psalm 1:1 ask us to live life the way He wants us to. The purpose He bring us here is so that we do as what He ask us to. How do we live life happily?

Psalm 1:6
We always call upon God, but in our heart, there is a lot of things that does not please God. Don't live like the wicked. Don't live knowing the truth, but not doing it. Things we know are right that we do wrong will not please God's heart. Don't have a dream to change others but you yourself do not change, hiding in the darkness of your own self. If we don't change, how can the others around us, bringing them closer to our Father when we aren't. Let us not just recieve blessings from God but let us bless others as well.

Mark 7:20-23 open our eyes to things that does not please God.

....And Jesus said,"The things that come out of people are the things that make them unclean. All these evil things begin inside people, in the mind: evil thoughts, sexual sins, stealing, murder, adultery, greed, evil actions, lying, doing sinful things, jealousy, speaking evil of others, pride, and foolish living. All these evil things come from inside and make people unclean"....

A change is not a change until the change happen.

Tagg'Ed'..

RULE #1People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves..
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RULE #2Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.
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1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
-Thats the hardest thing to accept in our life isn't it? Honestly.. Well.. I'll just don't give a damn bout it actually.. Learn to accept the fact that she's no better than a dog.. Who will always be faithful to their owner..

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
-Make my family proud of this person.

3. What makes you unmotivated?
-Unfaithful,pityful and rock-brained people.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
-Billion? Dollars? I don't care bout money actually. I can live without it. All I need is God,Family,Love and Friends. But if I do, 40% for my family, 30% for my God and the church, 20% for investments and 10% for myself.. :-D

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
-Never again.. Not anymore..

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
-Loving someone is wonderful,until you find out that they don't love you,which hurts so much. Being loved by someone felt the same,but do we love like they do? For me,both rely on each other.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
-It's in God's hands now.. I don't want to go through this thing anymore.. When I really l.o.v.e someone,there it goes.. So,I don't care.. What God have in hand for me,I'll follow..

8. Where would you prefer to be right now?
- Somewhere peaceful where my mind is cleared from all the trouble in life and some place that can always bring me closer to God and my family and friends.

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
-Yeah..

10. What takes you down the fastest?
-Love,Faith,Trust..

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
-Im gonna be an architect already by that time. Hahaha.. Well, I already build a house for my parents, a church for Christians to be closer to God.. Besides that, I've given a good name to my family and make them proud of me. Not forgetting.. Some building whose architect is me.. Haha..

12. Do you think, by being kind and always helping person you love, she/he will love you?
-Never.. Trust me..

13. What will you do when the person you love is so close to you,yet so far?
-Forget about it.. Its makes us feel so miserable.. Just get over it before it get onto you..

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
-Whatever shall be..

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
-Open my eyes, sit down and pray to God to give thanks for looking over me through the night and give another life to live on.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
-After what had happen to me in few,I think it'll dissapoint you big time. So, I shall say "NO !"...

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
- Huh? If I say one of them, you'll say which one. Then if I say both,you might think Im nuts. So0o.. What do you mean?

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
-I always do.. It doesn't matter what they've done to me.. God will decide what to do with them.. Who am I to judge them..?

19. Would you suffer now and enjoy later or the opposite?
-Definitely.. That's the way of life..

20. List 8 people to tag...
-I dunno.. The thing is.. Its hard for me to decide who.. So I think, whoever that cares bout reading my blog shall be the 8 people to be tagged by me.. :-D

In Your Hands

Life is about choices. In everything we do in our everday life, it involves making a decision. But do we choose to do the right decision? Whatever it is, good or bad, never regret in the choices we make.

Every choices determine our future. So we have to think wisely before making a decision. How do we decide to make the right choices in life?

1. Understand That Our Life Is Precious.
-As for me, being a faithful christian is to appreciate life. Christ has died for us on the cross for us,making us precious. By His blood and by His life. (1 Peter 1:18)

2.Choose Because Its The True Decision.
-There's a road where people think it's straight but in the end,the find death.
-Its better that we suffer in whatever we do now, rather than we suffer for eternity, for our lifetime. (Matthew 7:14)

3.Communicate Intimately With God.
-Our life must be lead by God,not assumption. Don't assume things. Follow according to what God have in hand for us. (Psalm 25:14)

4.Live With The Community Who Believes.
-With whom do we communicate decides the person who we will be. Wrong community will destroy the good in us and bring in the bad, to spoil us.